Raising Kids

The family is under attack! Make no mistake in this. The ideals of the home, the structure, the leadership have all being separated and diminished. While there are many factors that have led to this situation we should not dwell on why or how; but rather what can we do now?

Parents need to ask themselves:

  • Is my child a spiritual person?
  • Am I a spiritual person?
  • Am I raising my kids for the Lord?
  • Are there issues that need to be deal with?

No amount of information will matter if a parent does not recognize that there is a problem and desires to get a solution.

We will deal with several different topics and aspects as we move through these lessons. This lesson will concentrate on the understanding that the Church plays a pivotal part in the raising of children. Let’s look at a few verses about parents responsibilities:

Deuteronomy 6:4  And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
[6] And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
[7] And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
[8] And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
[9] And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

If we are to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord it need to be in church. This is a necessary part of growing up in a Christian home. There is a movement today of home churches where small groups share their collective ignorance rather than working through the man of God as the Bible lays out. While you can find groups meeting in a home in the Bible it is never identified as a God called assembly or a church. The Church can/will play a vital roll in your child’s growth and development spiritually and socially.

Making this decision; consider these points:

1. We should start young… and when I say young I mean the first Church Service when mom comes out of the hospital. I’ve heard too many horror stories of parents that waited until the children were 5 years old or older and then take them to church. Then they realize the child has not learned yet how to sit.. the parents yell at the child for weeks to sit still and so at an early age you now have a child that associates the church with anger, frustration and embarrassment. For those parents that wait until the teen years the struggle becomes amplified as it is a constant struggle because they see the parents as a hypocrite trying to correct years of poor instruction and a parent who wants the child to be “spiritual” in a short time.  Again the child can resent the church because of this rapid, forced change. When we start the children young, show them and teach them to sit still… you will find that by 5 years old they are hearing and learning from the word of God in ways you can’t imagine… until you see the results.

2. Children need to learn to be still and know that He is God. I don’t understand why parents will get children in a habit to draw and play in church. This is not only a distraction to them… but all that are around them.

3. Children need to recognize the fear of the Lord… they learn that by the way from their parents.

4. Children hear and process information very effectively, they can form opinions and determine a course of action as early as 4. When a child hears a parent say something that they would not allow the child to say.. like when people bad mouthing the preacher, it begin to process that information and determine a course of action based of of available information. When they see parents act one way at church and another at home or in the car… they can loose respect for you and the church. Remember children are impressionable… so make a good impression.

5. Children enjoy what their parents do… whatever hobbies and activities that mom and dad enjoy, children naturally want to be apart of that. Church is no different. When parents enjoy going to church… so will the children. When parents treat church like a chore… so will the children.

6. Never expect more from your children that you expect from yourself.  Most churches meet for 3 services a week for a maximum of 1.5 hours of learning about God… but what about the other 166.5 hours in the week. That is where the Parent takes the lead. I have spoken with so many parents that have their children read their Bibles and pray everyday.. but have not cracked a Bible or prayed themselves since the last church service. Parents must take an aggressive role in their own spiritual growth, the child will naturally follow your lead.

Child patterns can be broken down by age span.

  • Ages1-5 – These children are impressionable, hungering for knowledge. This is the age that it is easiest to establish habits and patterns. The lessons taught in church must be magnified in the home at this age otherwise it will create mixed messages that will cause to child to act out. This is also the age that it is good to instill the basics of the fear of the Lord and to respect of God’s house.
  • Ages 6-10 – This age is when children here begin to practice those principles and foundations that they were introduced to at the ages 1-5. They are curious, but also seek to test boundaries. In doing so they will exceed the comfort zone and watch the reaction of those who established the boundary. If the parent here does not re-enforce the established set of rules and punishment for exceeding the boundaries the child will forge their own. This is also the age when children learn to manipulate the circumstances to work to their end. They will observe those things that aggravate a situation and judge responses. Make no mistake, children at this age are crafty and observant.
  • Ages 11-16 – Children in this age group are most susceptible to emotion whims. A parent must be at their best in their consistency. The world around this age is changing daily as they deal with social issues, responsibility, internal emotional changes and rapid changes to their bodies… they need a parent that is extremely consistent and is unwavering… you must be their stability. This will also be the time when you find out how you did for the first 10 years because the foundations you have built will be tested. Oft times this is the age when parents seek external assistance to cope with their child because they have not raised their child in a Godly home… I have seen so many destroyed homes because a parent begins forcing a child to be something that they are not… spiritual. Forcing a child to go to church expecting the church to fix the problems you have created CAN NOT WORK. There is a formula for this that will work and will be discussed in a later lesson.
  • Ages 17-19 – This is a child who will practice what they have been taught. Good or bad. Dealing with this age is simply trial by example. No longer is it, because I said so, but rather why. This age must understand why things are the way they are and how things work so they they can learn and make correct decisions. A child of this age must also be allowed to make mistakes, under guidance and with understanding. They have relied on the parent for 17 years and need to know that actions have consequences, yet in all, you will be there.

So in this lesson we have determine that the first, best option is to start with the child as a newborn so to allow you both to grow in Christ through the local church… however.. what if you child is already older. Future lessons, which I will link later below, will deal with each age group listed and what to do if you are seeking God’s guidance later in a child’s development.

By Chaplain Rick Brewer

I often see or hear the statement of “Put God Back in Schools” and while I understand their zeal I’m afraid I cannot agree with it. In this article I will provide a history of God and prayer in school, present my argument why religion should not be taught in the public school system and provide a vision of what is to come because of the course of this country chose to take with the 1962 & 1963 court decisions.


In this country public schools are not allowed to teach biblical matters or allow public or mandated prayer because stately the wording of the First Amendment of the Constitution, which states:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…

The first part reads “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion” is the Establishment Clause, while the second part (“or prohibiting the free exercise thereof”) is the Free Exercise Clause. The Fourteenth Amendment extended the scope First Amendment to all levels of government, thereby compelling states to adopt an equally detached approach to religion in schools.

School prayer prior to 1962

As early as 1890 school prayer has been under attack for reasons I will use later in this article as proof text. The Catholics had exception, in 1890, to the fact that the King James Bible was being used. They took their case to the Wisconsin Supreme Court who ruled in favor of the Catholics thereby starting a debate of which Bible and which religion should be taught in schools. In 1962 another challenge in New York surfaced when a Jewish father objected to his son being exposed to Christian faith and mandated Christian prayer. Two main court battles in the Supreme Court eventually led in 1963 the banning of corporate reading of the Bible and prayer in schools. The courts did make allowances to “religion” in school as long as it remained totally secular and neutral in all respects to a particular group or Bible.


Over the last 25 years the very mention of prayer in schools has brought an atheistic response from teams of lawyers and the ACLU to force compliance in state schools.


1 Samuel 8:6  But the thing displeased Samuel, when they said, Give us a king to judge us. And Samuel prayed unto the LORD.
7 And the LORD said unto Samuel, Hearken unto the voice of the people in all that they say unto thee: for they have not rejected thee, but they have rejected me, that I should not reign over them.

The Separation of Church and State

Another commonly spouted discourse is the “separation of church and state” as a constitutional matter, but it is not. The reference first came from Thomas Jefferson in 1802 to the Danbury Baptists. It states: “Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between Man & his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, & not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should “make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,” thus building a wall of separation between Church & State.” The intent in this letter is to calm concerns that the newly formed federal government would establish a state religion like that of England. It was not meant to keep the church out of government but rather the government out of the church.

Why Religion should not be allowed in schools.

I can sum this argument up by asking “which religion”. Naturally everyone who would want to put God back in schools would want their OWN religion taught. Modern statistics place in the Christian faiths nearly 33,000 different denominations, they essentially can be broken down to some 40 or so main groups of belief… but even still I have witnessed differing beliefs from one church to the next within the same denomination. That doesn’t even include the non-Christian religions, some of which are even now working diligently to fill the void left when “God was kicked out in the ‘60’s. Satan has done a good job over the last 100 years getting people to NOT rightfully divide the word of truth; eventually leading to much confusion about the word of God and creating many different denominations to provide validity to their beliefs.

So the question comes to play that if we can’t get trained pastors on the same page about what we are to believe… how are we to expect a public school teacher who is not trained in biblical matters to be able to? Not to mention it was NEVER to be the responsibility of a school teacher to become the moral compass for a child to teach them religion, it is the Parent!

The only way to put God back in schools and it be effective to a singular teaching would be a state religion that would have mandated beliefs and structure teaching a singular point… but isn’t that what the founders fought against? Spin the dial… which one of the 33,000+ are we going to pick?

To Make my point let me ask this question:

Do you want a teacher or teachers of multiple faiths responsible for teaching your child about God?

The root of the problem

So what’s the root of the problem? Christians. For 70 or so years Christians have so sought acceptance from the world that they were shamed to keep silent; thus making it easy to throw out the Bible and prayer from the public school system. Christian parents began to rely on the public school system to do their job in raising children. No longer are teachers tasked with teaching reading, writing and arithmetic but also needing to be a guidance counselor, social worker and advocate literally being forced to teach children morality without the moral tools needed to do the job. Add that to the government utilization of the public school system to teach anti-Christian indoctrination of social behavior and you get a system that is failing because Christians gave up to fight in the 50’s.

Romans 12:2  And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Sure there are teachers in the system that are Christians… but to what end? Is it their job to teach children about God? No, it is the parents’ responsibility to do that. Parents at one point held the children responsible for their actions, now we are crucifying teachers for not raising the children in the way the parents would like… shifting the responsibility away from themselves and the child to the teachers!

The Course

Naturally the course now since the 60’s has been well trodden. It certainly isn’t going to get better. The moral decline in this country can be directly related to the home… not the Schools. God was kicked out of the American home long before He was kicked out of schools; and it is foolish to think that we can put Him forcibly back in the schools without graciously accepting Him back into our homes. As long as Christians choose not to take responsibility for their spiritual actions and allow God to reign supreme in their homes… this country will remain in the downward moral decline until pure anarchy becomes the norm.


I don’t think that God should be forced back in schools for the many reasons I have listed above. I believe that Christians need to wake up and realize that we are the majority (that is shrinking with every graduating class) That a Christian voice should be at teacher conferences, school board meetings, city council meetings, state legislature, federal legislature and court systems making sure our voice is heard. That Christians stop chasing after the approval of the world and stand separated with a loud voice that lifts up Jesus Christ! Let those making decisions think about the effects their choices will make. The false religions in this country are speaking louder that we have in 70 years because we are so concerned with being called names that our voice has no power.

2 Timothy 3:5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

It is important to understand that having a personal electronic device such as a cell phone, tablet, computer, tv, ipod, mp3 player, video games… ect.. is a privilege. They are not needed to function in school, church or any other activity. Used properly these electronic devices can be a great asset to a healthy quality of life by offering a greater capacity to learn and grow; however used incorrectly they can damage a testimony, provoke sin and diminish a walk with God. This lesson will deal with the Biblical nature of these electronic devices; it is intended to help parents when making decisions about the use of devices for their children, but the concept is certainly valid for mom and dad too.

2 Corinthians 2:11  Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.

The Hidden things

2 Corinthians 4:2  But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God.

One feature of electronic devices is that they are personal in nature. It is difficult for others to see or hear what or how they are being used, therefore these hidden things can become a problem. There is a sense of liberty that one has when they have access to see and hear things that cannot be viewed or judged by others.

Psalms 101:3  I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.
With this liberty comes self control. God’s people must make a point to set no wicked thing before your eyes. Remember the device in itself is not wicked, but what is done with it can easily become wicked.

Self Examination

Part of growing up is the principle of self examination.

Psalms 26:2  Examine me, O LORD, and prove me; try my reins and my heart.

2 Corinthians 13:5  Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?

1 Corinthians 11:31  For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged.

This matter of self examination must be a constant event weighing every activity based on the name of Jesus Christ. If you don’t think Jesus Christ would be delighted in what you do see or say on an electronic device… then why are you doing it?

Colossians 3:17  And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.


When you are on Facebook, surfing the net, texting or just listening to music it can cause a sense of idleness where you are not being productive or worse, counter productive to the things that need done.

Proverbs 19:15  Slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep; and an idle soul shall suffer hunger.

1 Timothy 5:13  And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.


Facebook and social media

Facebook, twitter and other forms of social media can be a neat way to express feelings and thoughts on a particular topic, stay in touch with friends far away and get insight on current events… but beware.

Proverbs 22:24  Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:

Social Media can also be a place where sin can run unchecked. From a disconnected mindset of privacy the internet can be used to speak evil things, to show evil things and make friendships that can lead to a life filled with sin.  A Christian must be on guard and regulate those things that you participate in. If you continually view angry posts it can motivate you to be the same way. Things can be said and feelings can be hurt by posting something you think is humorous but because it was in poor taste… offends someone; we must remember our testimony when participating in these social media areas. If you have people on your friends list that is posting inappropriate pictures, comments or posts to include nudity, perversion and profanity it is YOUR responsibility to unlike and not participate with those people. It is clear that a Christian is to come apart and be separate; we must be self regulating in these matters.

1 Peter 2:12  Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.

These same guidelines go along with texting, skype or any other form of communication whereby you have influence. Keep this rule in mind:

Ephesians 4:29  Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

We must treat social media in the manner that we would never post something about anyone we wouldn’t be willing to say in front of them.

Matthew 12:36  But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

How to proceed.

Guidelines need to be in place to help train a child in the way they should go. These guidelines will promote self examination and the responsible use of electronic devices.

Nothing hidden

In order to help guide a child to a mature sense of responsibility the child should not be allowed to delete anything from electronic devices. This will include, but are not limited to: Texts, Messages, Posts, Pictures, likes, shares, tweets, viewing history, browsing history and search history. This basically will allow a parent/ guardian to review the use of the electronic devices to make sure they are being used properly. Naturally you want to work your way to a point that the child is self regulating (self examining/ self judging) themselves with the mindset of the scripture laid out previously.

Time limits

Time limits and time restrictions should be placed to help make sure that a healthy balance of time is being structured. Idleness, as they say, is the devil’s workshop… so making sure that the devices are not filling space where structured study, chores or relevant playtime should be utilized.

“The double standard” – One method is if the child spends one hour on an electronic device or devices he should give the Lord two hours. Time in prayer and Bible reading will naturally help bring a sense of balance and priorities in the child’s life.

“Centralized charging” – One popular way to keep children from abusing electronic device privileges is to not allow the electronic devices in their room overnight. Find a central location such as the parents bedroom, kitchen or living room where the child will not be tempted to stay up all night using the device(s).

“Read twice, message once” – An embarrassing message can often become conversation at school, church or even around the dinner table. Helping your child avoid this situation is to teach the “read twice, message once” rule. Teach them the habit of making sure that the message is spelled properly, sent to the correct person and most importantly… needs to be said. Oft times a child can get caught up in the moment and before they know it, they have send a hurtful or disrespectable message. Messages like this in the social media and texting realm cannot be deleted, so help them understand the importance of this rule.

“The Grandma rule” – Have children think about this when sending out a text, tweet, post or message: “Would I say this to Grandma?”

When should I get my child a electronic device?

This is different for each family. It naturally will depend on the maturity of both the parent and the child. Note: If the parent is not going to properly monitor the use of the different electronic devices you are setting the child up for a fall. It is the parents responsibility to make sure the child knows the proper use of different devices.


Because electronic devices can be used for good or bad it is important to take seriously instances where the guidelines of responsible device use are not observed. Remember electronic devices are a privilege, not a need or requirement. It is for this reason I recommend the complete removal of all devices from a child that abuses the guidelines set forth by the parent. After a preset period has passed then the child should be re-taught the Biblical principles outlines in the paragraphs above.